**Editors Note: Olivia uses lower case text on purpose to illustrate equality**
the hands of a healer are indistinguishable.
sure, there are scars, but who else falls from the top of the lollipop of adolescence and gets mom to put honey on the wound? we have all seen days of blood and nights of pain. we all have the imprints of the universe on our fingertips.
my hands are recognizable, but they are not unlike yours. my cuts have become scars with stories written under the flesh. my stories have become the stitching of my existence. my existence has become one of constantly healing, journeying, and using my hands to write and tell the story:
my name is olivia jade. i’m a writer by nature, a creator by passion, and a lover by choice. throughout my life i’ve traveled barefoot. in my short 23 years of living, there has been an accumulation of pain, of circumstance, and of resilience, but i believe i am here to tell these stories to inspire others. humans connect on a level of transparency and i do my best to shed my skin daily and only show soul. the art of transparency was introduced to me as a young child by my mother Stephanie. if she has taught me one thing, even inadvertently, it was the transparent act of searching for self. my whole life i have found myself in her reflection, in pain, in tears of laughter, in books, in others’ stories.
in greek mythology, there is a deity named Styx whose form is a river that connects Earth and the Underworld where the souls of the dead travel to their destination. i tell my story as one person who used to drink from this river of the dead. for many years i have been consumed by negative energy, by depression, anxiety, and death all around me. for years unhappiness plagued my daily life; my lack of lust for life was rooted in the fear of the unknown and knowing my true self. my mother taught me the act of transparency but i was accustomed to only seeing my reflection in the river of Styx. until one day, the idea of not living the life i wanted to live cut deep into my skin.
i wanted to get out of the abusive relationship i was in, out of the apartment i couldn’t afford in brooklyn, new york, and escape out of the mind that trapped me. at that time in my life, i was expecting a garden but did not understand that a seed cannot grow in dead soil. i decided to stop drinking from Styx and drink from the sun. from that day on, there has been a dedication to living in my truth and expressing myself for the sake of others. i now believe that the act of transparency- searching for yourself- is simultaneously losing yourself, finding yourself, and creating yourself. in this lifetime teaching others how to drink the sun and live their best life through wellness, goal-digging, and self-love is my main goal. we all deserve to lock hands with our highest self- i hope you take this journey with me.
dirt remains under my fingernails from when i dig deep into my soul and cut the flowers i have grown
to pour into another and plant a seed of voice, of love, of expression.the hands of a healer are indistinguishable. we heal ourselves and live again
using these hands to tell the story. . .