Ask Alma: My Husband Doesn’t Believe in God Anymore. What Should I Do?


By Alma Gill (NNPA News Wire Columnist)

Dear Alma,

My husband said he no longer believes in God. He did when I met him and when we got married. We have always attended my family church and have been very active in different organizations. I just don’t understand or think we can remain married. How can I be with someone who doesn’t believe in God. I am so mad! That has always been the first “must have” on my list. My husband even stopped going to church. I am so hurt, I just don’t know what to do. Do you think I can convince him to go back to what we had and rededicate his life? How can a marriage stay together if only one person believes in God? Please help us!

Praying for My Atheist Husband

Dear Praying,

Holy guacamole, my sister, this is an issue of enormous ramifications. Yes, it could easily end your marriage if not handled with divine intervention. You say you’re a Christian and so was your husband when you met and married, but now he wants to change his stance and he no longer believes in God. Will he consider faith-based counseling?

Listen closely as I speak softly, not tilting the taste of judgment — I think you need to be truthful about his change of belief and try to remember what life experience u-turned him towards a different direction. Who, when, where and how was someone else able to grab hold of him when you weren’t watching. I’m not blaming you, oh no, that’s not my intent. I’m merely trying to show you that one doesn’t pick a Savior in one day. We’re too savvy for that nowadays. Folks will research everything on the Internet. Unfortunately, the information no longer needs to be prophetic or true, as long as it’s printed. I’m just wondering out loud, where you were when he was searching, unraveling, disconnecting from your faith.

Wrangle your anger and resentment cause you’ve got to retain control of this with a calm hand and a cool head. The humbleness of your faith is being tested. Like my mama use to say, “the best of sermons are seen, not heard.” My advice to you is, live the Bible you read, carefully chose the words that you speak and most definitely display what you pray. Hold off on contacting a divorce lawyer just yet. Pick up a copy of “In Faith and In Doubt: How Religious Believers and Nonbelievers Can Create Strong Marriages” by Dale McGowan and start reading what has happened with other couples.

What’s great about America is the freedom to pick and follow the religion that suits your heart the best. Only heaven knows if your marriage will survive this, but what I can assure you that both of you deserve the proper respect from one another while you work on it. Everyone is going to hell in a hand basket according to someone’s religion. Trust me when I say, it’s better to sit on a mountaintop meditating on God and all of His glory, then it is to sit in church disengaged, thinking about taking a hike.

Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.

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