By Alma Gill (NNPA News Wire Columnist)
Dear Alma,
I read your column every week and could really use your advice. I want to move, but my husband won’t budge. No, it’s not what you’re thinking. We have money; both of us are gainfully employed making over $100,000 a year. We have a substantial savings account. We also have three children; two girls, a four year-old and seven year-old and a 10 year-old son. My husband purchased a beautiful condo before we got married and it’s in a very high-end neighborhood. Yes, it is lovely, but we need more space for our family. We have gone over this a million times and he will not move. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to end my marriage, I love my husband very much and we have a wonderful family. Do you have any suggestions that will work for all of us and keep everyone happy?
Signed,
Ready to Move On
Dear Ready,
I could be wrong, although I doubt it, but it sounds to me that he doesn’t love you or his kids with is whole heart. Because when you do, the life, comfort and well-being of your loved ones supersedes everything and everyone. I know this is a tough pill to swallow in regards to your loving home life, but lets’ back it up a minute and review the circumstances.
You and your husband are financially stable, making enough money for your family to be more than comfortable, but he chooses to live in a constricted, unconditional, and may I say unhealthy lack of space for no reason other than, he purchased a property before you married and he doesn’t want to let the property go. Ummm, okay, I can understand the investment prospect of this, but ummm, I’m still confused. When one person in the kingdom makes all the decisions for the family and the land; that’s called a tyrant, a ruler of the domain. I say, not here, not today! Didn’t you see the Woman’s March on Washington?
As the pink powder puff parent, you’ve got to make this stop! We are no longer fanning this foolishness. Go find a house or apartment to rent, sign the lease, return home and prepare a celebration dinner. Immediate family members currently living in your condo are invited to the dinner and, said immediate family members should prepare to move to your new home. If your husband isn’t interested in relocating, you two can discuss the terms for him deciding to sleep away from his family on another day at another time.
Maybe it’s just me, but in my mind, since finances are not an issue, this is not a problem. There are agencies that will rent your property for you for a small fee. There’s the answer to what he sees as “his problem.” This is a happenstance your husband has high-jacked long enough. Your children need space to grow, stretch and learn. There’s no need for everyone to be within ear and eyeshot of each other every day. Children should not be made to witness every fuss and fart that festers between their mom and dad. This matter is for mama to fix; get on it. This unnecessary disaster of indignity has dragged on long enough. Don’t waste another minute, up your game, march girl, march!
Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: [email protected]. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.
