(CNN) – Many dreams can die at the hands of fear, doubt or other obstacles in exchange for playing it safe.
But countless women have bucked the stereotype of being more risk adverse than men and accomplished incredible goals in ways anyone can apply. So, what’s their secret to success? As we head into a new year with our resolutions, it’s worth noting invaluable insights from dreamers who’ve achieved their goals.
“People vary in the expression of risk from significant risk-takers to those who are risk-averse, a sort of continuum influenced by biology, upbringing, personal factors, community and social factors,” said Frank Farley, a psychologist and professor emeritus at Temple University who studies human behavior.
Farley breaks down risk-taking into two areas: the physical realm of risk-taking (such as car racing) and the psychological realm of risk-taking (such as finances or entrepreneurship). While men are traditionally associated with physical risk-taking, that view is changing as opportunities expand for women (with women creating many of those opportunities).
“Almost all areas that might involve some element of risk of failure have opened up (to women),” Farley said of his research. “Women are doing terrific things in both domains that 100 years ago would’ve been unheard of. So, it’s increasingly hard to argue differences in capacity, ability, accomplishment, etc.”
Sophia Danenberg and Ebony Norflis are two of those women, and there are lessons for everyone in their risk-taking.
‘Tenacity has a lot to do with it’
Danenberg never had ambition to climb the world’s tallest peak before she did it.
“My dad never said things like don’t let someone tell you that you can’t do that because you’re a girl or you’re Black,” said Danenberg, the first Black American and Black woman to summit Mount Everest. “He just never put that concept in my head that someone would think that.”
With five years of mountaineering under her belt, she was prepared to climb a different mountain until someone presented the idea to climb Everest instead. After some thought, she changed course to ascend one of the most dangerous mountains with three months to prepare.
“I don’t consider the risky thing or the brave thing as summiting or climbing Everest,” Danenberg said. “It wasn’t really the actual climb. It was more the first decision, the decision to try it. Then if I tried it, and it just clearly was going to go poorly, and I was just going to quit after spending all of this money, that was the risk.”
“I’m a very ‘just do it’ type of person. I occupy my brain by going through certain steps, by doing a lot of analysis, by actually executing things,” said Danenberg, who also has a demanding career as a principal analyst in international policy, environment and sustainability at Boeing Co. “I’m not ambitious, I’m tenacious. I cannot stress enough tenacity has a lot to do with it. I try to do whatever I’m doing really well no matter what it is.”
Taking calculated risks
Successful dream seekers take risks, but they’re calculated. These dreamers understand failure is often inherent in the process. But disappointments, when they happen, aren’t always a bad thing, Farley said. “One needs to be prepared to fail. Sometimes failure takes people to a new and better dream.”
Norflis, a married mother of two, made the leap from the security of corporate America to pursue her dream of becoming a franchise owner of Blue Kangaroo Packoutz, a contents restoration company in Atlanta. Many banks turned down her loan applications because the franchise was a relatively new brand, and she didn’t have any restoration experience.
Perseverance was key. “I always have to fight to tell myself that I am enough, that I can do it, and that this is something that I can make successful,” Norflis said. “You almost have to exercise your mind and become numb (to hearing no). And if you believe in yourself, if you believe in (your dream), then your grit will develop. Your tenacity will develop.”
Know when to quit
Hundreds of dead climbers lie entombed on Mount Everest, a testament to the potential deadliness of the climb.
“Everyone wants to hear the talk about how you succeed, and they want to hear a motivational talk that’s along the lines of don’t give up,” Danenberg said. “And for me that is just not the attitude that I could safely take on a mountain like Everest.
“It’s just so dangerous that I was like, ‘Give up at any second. If it’s looking bad, just stop.’”
‘You will be shocked what you can pull off’
Being willing to boldly take advantage of opportunities as they come versus waiting on “perfect” timing is one of Danenberg’s strongest pieces of advice.
“A lot of things that people have seen as accomplishments in my life appear very unrelated,” said Danenberg, who is also a Fulbright scholar and Harvard University graduate. “But at some point, someone put that opportunity in front of me, and I was like, ‘Sure let’s try it. Let’s see how it goes.’ You will be shocked what you can pull off. And if you try to determine before you ever try, you’re just not going to know.”
Norflis has a similar sentiment. “What if (Jeff) Bezos decided not to pursue what he pursued,” she said. “What would life be like without Amazon? Not everyone is going to have a Bezos idea, but Bezos’ idea is an idea that started off as a dream.”
Editor’s note: Journalist Cherie Berkley previously was assistant managing editor at WebMD and a news writer/producer for CNN, CNN International and A&E.
